You come home from work alone, only to find yourself within an hour of your arrival barraging your refrigerator and consuming an entire day’s worth of calories despite having eaten breakfast and lunch earlier in the day. You don’t even know how it happened, but when you reflect upon how much you just ate you start to berate yourself for a lack of willpower.
Or, your husband has been out of town for the past few days and you have been at home tending to your three young children. You decide because you are so tired and overwhelmed that baking cupcakes with the kids is a good idea. At 4:00pm you consume 6 of the cupcakes, icing included. You are disgusted with yourself and tell yourself you’ll have a light dinner to offset the carbs and calories you just consumed.
Or maybe you are about to negotiate a raise and promotion with your company the next day and to numb your anxiety the night before, you turn on Netflix to distract yourself and find that at the end of the show you have eaten the entire bag of yogurt covered pretzels. Again you ask yourself, how in the heck did that happen?
In each of these scenarios you feel like sh*t the next day, bloated, thirsty and perhaps a little more irritable than the day before. You say to yourself, why do I always do this? Why don’t I have better control over what I am eating and how much? Its time to get back on that diet so I can lose whatever I just gained and hopefully that diet will keep me in check next time around.
Or perhaps you are experiencing even more severe situations such as emotional or verbal abuse. You notice that you have consistently put on weight every year since the abuse started.
Or maybe you just found out that your spouse cheated on you with a much younger and seemingly more attractive person. You think to yourself, of course he would, I don’t look like that anymore. You drink yourself into a stupor for more nights than you want to admit until you realize the alcohol has caused you to gain weight.
Or perhaps you suffered a sexual trauma in your youth that you have addressed on an emotional level, but perhaps not on a subconscious level. You have been consistently overweight despite trying every diet and exercise regimen on the planet.
Do any of these situations sound like you? Or perhaps you have a combo platter of a few. I can articulate these situations well because I have experienced quite a number of them throughout my life. We live in a society that tells us we are failures if we can’t stick to a diet or can’t reach the weight we want to be. We think, or have others tell us, that we must not have the willpower to reach the goal that we want or to sustain it if we reach it. We believe we have to white knuckle our way to the bodies we want, and if we don’t get there, we are unworthy in some way.
I am here to tell you that none of this is correct. There are actually three components that cause you to repeat this pattern over and over and they are all interrelated! Let me explain how this works:
All of the scenarios referenced above are the inability to cope with your emotional state which leads to you using food to try and cope. However, you are using food in a way that is not going to satiate you biologically. Your binging and then you are restricting, which is a self perpetuating cycle biologically. We can’t starve ourselves and expect that we won’t binge the next day. Our bodies biologically are designed to feast whenever there has been a famine and when we finally do eat, it holds onto every calorie it can. It’s simple evolutionary biology. And the final component is your beliefs underlying all of this - the more you try and get your eating habits in line, your beliefs are actually stopping you from correcting this pattern. Some of the beliefs you may hold that make you unable from reaching your goal are “I am unworthy of the body that I want, My value is tied to how much I weigh, I am undeserving, or I will only be safe if I am unattractive.
Any coaching or guidance around ending emotional eating for good MUST address all three components - the emotional, physical and mental - and how they interplay with one another. My 6 week intensive program does just that we take a deep dive into all three because that is what is going to allow you to end emotional eating for good AND to know what to do if this issue rears its ugly head again. If you’re interested in having my help, this is a life changing program and because of the uniqueness I just described, if interested DM me HERE and we can see if you are a good fit for the program.
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